Posts Tagged ‘kemp’

Victim: Alton Lister(2005 Update) After getting ceremoniously crammed on by Shawn “The Original Daddy” Kemp in the playoffs, Alton took his knowledge to Mesa College in ‘Zona, where he’s been coaching since 2000. His top lesson? Don’t stand under the basket, or you will get blistered!

(2008 Update) The seven-foot tall Lister snuck back in the pros to coach, currently “blistering” the likes of Josh Smith and Al Horford with his sage guidance as an assistant with the Atlanta Hawks. Here’s a shot of him with fellow perennial dunk-victim Patrick Ewing at the 2008 NBA Predraft Camp. When it comes to getting posterized, do ya think they’ve got a few stories to share?)
(2011 Update) Lister decided to take his skills to the Philippines, where his brother played back in the 1980s. He was chugging along as the skills coach for the San Miguel Beermen — now the Petron Blaze Boosters, but can you imagine the perks? — and has transferred recently to the Bolts of Meralco, being replaced at Petron by Alex English… Courtesy of LamarMatic: A couple games preceding the poster-ific classic, The Reign Man had a one-piece rained atop his forehead courtesy of you-know-who. Hey, maybe that’s the original meaning behind the blister… did Kemp grow a knot up top?
Facializer: Xavier McDaniel
(2005 Update) Like Kemp, I think the rim must’ve said somethin’ mean about Xavier’s mama when he was a kid, ’cause by the time he grew up he knew damn well how to punish the rim and anything (like Sir Charles and Johnny Newman?) that got in his way.
Although X reportedly got smashed on while at Wichita State when Spud Webb (who was in the League by then) came for a visit… now that had to be a Shocker!… like Lister, X did a lil coaching, too — who better to be a SlamBall coach than the X-Man, leading the Riders to the championship! (SlamBall turned out a’ight, but everybody could tell the concept needed some work.) Anyways, post-SlamBall he’s just been going around Carolina and NBA summer camps providing tutelage on the proper way to stare down your opponent on the inbounds right after tomahawking on his head.
(2008 Update) Let it not be said that the X-Man isn’t afraid to dabble. Over a decade removed from an underwhelming Korean sneaker contract, (wow?) X has gotten a little cameo-acting bug (see YouTube below), took up house-flipping (highlight to see the text), and carried his “Grand Slam”-ming ways onto the tennis court (here he is in Wichita playing doubles with veteran Natasha Zvereva for charity).
“NBA Superstars Out of Their League, Take Two. Lights, Camera, ACTION!”
(2011 Update) Sounding recently like a man who remembers his best dunk fondly…
… he’s back in the Gamecock State, having added a janitorial service to supplement his real estate ventures. Hopefully his daughter, AAU star Xylina, isn’t out there mean-mugging kids after crossovers and layups…